My friends, I have to admit something. Despite having helped dozens of people transition into new jobs over the past few years, the thought of doing it myself terrifies me.
Maybe it’s because I’m already in a great situation, maybe it’s because I don’t know where I’d go next, or maybe I’m not as change-positive as I thought I was. It might be a combination of these things or something else entirely, but the fact is, I’m scared to make a move. I think it might be therapeutic for me to word-vomit my feelings on the subject. Maybe you’ll get something out of it, maybe you won’t. I’m experimenting here.
In 2014, I landed my dream job planning orientation at my undergraduate alma mater, York University. It was the first job I got out of grad school (see my about page for that saga) and I’ve been there ever since.
The first year was tough but as the learning curve settled down, I found myself surrounded by great people, working with awesome students producing meaningful work for people who matter to me. Awesome right? I still love my job and at the same time, I never would have imagined that I’d still be doing it four years later. So why am I still here?
I can think of two main reasons (and they are essentially the same reason) why I haven’t change jobs:
1. I’m afraid I won’t find an equally amazing work environment anywhere else. I have a standing desk. My coworkers and I play Donkey Kong and go for walks in the forest at lunch. My Director gives me the autonomy and support to flourish. And I deeply care about all 13 of the professional staff I work with, not to mention the amazing students!
When I think about how amazing I have it at work, and compare that to some of the horror stories I hear from other people about their work places... I don’t know… it just scares me that I won’t be able to find that anywhere else.
2. I don’t really know what I want next. About one year ago, I started to realize that I was stagnating a bit in my life. Same house, same job, same hobbies several years in a row. It felt weird and unfamiliar to me. All I knew was that I wanted to do something challenging, and I wanted to make more money. Rather than search for a new, harder, higher paying job, I chose to start this business (the beauty of word vomit is that I only just learned that about myself as I was typing). I guess I started this business partially because I could get what I wanted growth-wise without having to risk moving into a new environment.
In the student affairs part of my life, I still don’t have any concrete goals or next steps, and I’m certainly not about to make a change for the sake of changing.
I know change is a huge contributor to improvement. I guess at this point I’m afraid to risk losing what I have for something that I can’t envision.
Sorry, there really is no conclusion. I hate to leave this blog post so open-ended, but I’m afraid that’s the nature of the topic at hand.
If anyone is going through any similar feelings, or has any advice, I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts. You can comment below, or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.